The Edward Cullen List
by WaterbendingBabe
Summary: Cindy & Libby make a list of boyfriend traits based on Edward Cullen. But what happens when their current boyfriends find it? Randomness & fluff! Rated for one swear word One-shot


_**Okay, this is just a random one shot I came up with one day. Pretty random, and not the best I've ever done, but it makes me giggle. I hope you enjoy it, if not well...**_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron, Twilight, or Edward Cullen. But I wish I did!_**

**_Dedication: Dedicated to Mandy. Who almost had a heart attack when she found out I had never read Twilight. Thanks to her, I got addicted on the books! (The movies, eh, not so much). And to Lara, the most Anti-Jacob person I ever met!_**

**_Also: If you are Team Jacob do NOT read. Or if you do, don't leave me anonymous reviews about how you "hate me because I'm Team Edward." That is very immature. And I can delete them. So don't do it. _**

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**Cindy**

_Libby_

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_This is boring_.

**Trust me. I know! We get it! Just Say No!**

_Want to make a list?_

**Sure! What about?**

_How about a list using the most fabulous fictional character EVER?_

**You mean…?  
**

_Heck yes!_

_**The Edward Cullen List**_

A list of traits every girl should look for in a boyfriend. With references to the most wonderful boyfriend ever!

By Cindy & Libby

1. He must be handsome

_Of course everyone has there on definition of "handsome"_

**Yes, of course! Ladies, if YOU think he's handsome, go for it! After all, your friends aren't going to be the ones making out with him.**

_And since not everyone can find a super, extraordinarily hot, immortal soul mate._

**Which is really too bad when you think about it.**

2. He must be protective.

**Duh!**

_But not SUPER protective like Edward sometime gets._

**That's true. A little overbearing….**

_But it's Edward, so he's forgiven!_

3. He must be willing to do what's best for you

_Unless it consist of leaving for South America and leaving you with a werewolf named Jacob…._

**Tell me about it! Halfway through New Moon I started screaming "Where's Edward?"**

_Freakin' hate Jacob…._

**Mmmm, Edward!**

4. Must be good at Arts-and-Craft

_WTF?_

**No, I mean he has to make you things!**

_Oh, I see. Yes! Good point! But once again ladies, this will differ on your man…._

**Because not every man can write you a lullaby that moves you to tears every time he plays it.**

_Or make you a rose that plays "The Music of the Night" every time you open it… cough cough_

**Or make you a giant UltraLord figure out of many smaller UltraLord figures cough cough cough**

_That's enough of that_

**I must agree. Onwards! **

5. must look good in a tux

**VERY important.**

_Pretty sure that's why I can't wait for "Twilight" the movie to come out!_

**I hear ya! 20 minutes of Robert Pattinson in a tux! Who wouldn't want to go see this movie?**

_20 full minutes! Oo la la! That's worth the 10 ticket right there!_

**De-lic-ious!**

6. must be willing to give up his own life to protect you

**Or in other words "throw himself in front of a speeding bullet"**

_Which, when you think about it, wasn't a big thing for Edward. He's IMMORTAL for crying out loud!_

**Yes, but he was still WILLING**

_I'll give you that. Very important ladies! Write this down!_

7. also must be willing to spend quality time with you

**Like in a meadow**

_This is hard to find these days. But yes, a meadow would be quite nice_

with the above, he also must be willing to take his shirt off….

**Another scene in the movie I am anticipating!**

_Does Edward even take his shirt off in Twilight?_

**Huh, I don't remember. But Robert did on the cover of that copy of EW, remember?**

_How can you forget that?_

8. must be willing to do whatever it takes to save you

**This might be close to #6, but I'm thinking of the second-to last scene in Twilight when Edward sucks all the poison out of Bella to save her**

_And when he plunges that shot of venom into her heart in "Breaking Dawn"_

**So although similar to #6, its clearly not the same!**

_Oops, running out of time! One more?_

**Sure! Um, okay! Got one!**

9. and you must be able to make beautiful babies!

_Ha ha ha! You would add that wouldn't you?_

**What? A little shallow?**

_Perhaps, but VERY funny! You and Jimmy have that going for you!_

**Shut up. Besides our kids will be wholly human**

_Oh, you poor poor thing!_

**Kidding about this last one. Well, maybe not. It worked for Edward & Bella, but than again, Edward is like, PERFECT in every possible way. How could their kids not be beautiful?**

_True. Hey! Wanna make me a copy of this? Just the list though, my cousin could use this list._

**What? No commentary?**

_Not for hers. But photocopy me one WITH commentary okay?_  
_  
Can do!_

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"Jimmy! Hey Jimmy!"

Jimmy Neutron looked up from the test tubes he was working with to answer his hyper-active friend. "What Sheen?"

"I found something that you should see! I was leaving detention, I mean, of course I was leaving detention, it was after 4…. And I went to put my stuff in the locker that me and Libby share… well, of course we do…!"

"Sheen!" Jimmy interrupted, "What is it?"

"I found this!" Sheen produced a piece of paper and handed it to him.

Jimmy read the paper, his frown growing more pronounced the further he got into it. Finally, he glanced up Sheen. "Did Libby ever mention dating this Edward guy to you?"

Sheen shook his head. "Did Cindy-?"

"No." Jimmy growled. "I was under the impression that I was her first boyfriend."

Sheen shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I don't think so. Otherwise how would they know him so well? Who is he anyway?"

"That's what I intend to find out."

"Jim-my." Sheen groaned. "Can't we take a break? PLEASE?"

The male genius shook his head. "I don't understand! I don't! I've looked everywhere in the world, cross-referenced all the places Cindy & Libby have ever been. It's like this Edwin guy never even existed."

"Um, it's Edward…"

"I don't care!" Jimmy got up abruptly from his chair and started to pace. "I never thought that she would keep something like this from me! Never!"

"Why don't we just go ask?"

"That's such a dumb idea!"

"Yeah, but…"

"Now how long?" Cindy asked Libby as they sat in front of Cindy's computer.

"Umm, 3 months and 17 days." Libby answered. Both girls groaned.

"Gosh! November 21st will never…" **(A.N. They changed the date of the movie release to Nov. 21st, no longer 12-12)**

"CINDY!" A yell from downstairs interrupted.

"Up here sweetie!" Cindy called back, unaware of the anger in her boyfriend's voice.

He came bursting into the room, Sheen on his heels. "Don't call me that!"

"Call you what?" Cindy asked distracted.

"Sweetie!"

This broke through Cindy's thoughts. "Huh?" She turned to him frowning. "Why not? I always call you that!"

"Yeah, well, I don't like being called that by someone who doesn't value our relationship!"

Cindy rolled her eyes and sighed. "Jimmy…."

"I mean, I consider myself a patient man, fair and just even! But when you go keeping secrets from me…. And important ones at that!"

"Secrets? What are you talking about?"

"The same secret Libby was keeping from me!" Sheen interjected.

"Boy, you be tripping!" Libby started.

Cindy shook her head. "Swe- uh, Jimmy. What are you talking about?"

"This!" Her boyfriend produced the list and snapped, "Why didn't you and Libby mention to either of this that you used to date this Edward Cullen guy?"

"Edwa-" Libby stuttered. She looked at Cindy, who looked at her, and they both burst out laughing.

"You thought we dated Edward Cullen?" Libby screeched between laughs.

"Man! I wish!" Cindy agreed laughing hysterically.

Sheen looked at Jimmy. "Um, what did we miss?" But Jimmy seemed just as confused.

"Oh, Jimmy! You're so cute! Have I ever told you that?" Cindy asked. She stopped laughing and sighed. "Oh, Mmmm." She shook her head.

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy asked her.

"Jimmy, Edward's…. well he's…. not real!"

"Excuse me?"

"He's fictional! Edward Cullen's a fictional vampire…"

"Hot vampire." Libby added and Cindy nodded.

"Right, a fictional HOT vampire from the Twilight series!"

"Twi- what?"

Cindy got up and walked over to her bookshelf. She searched for a couple of minutes before producing a rather worn book. She crossed the room and wordlessly handed it to Jimmy. "Turn to page 67, last sentence."

He grumbled but did as she asked. And a blush crept over his cheeks as he did.

"Now read it aloud."

"That was the first night I…."

"I what?"

"Dreamed of Edward Cullen." He concluded.

"Wait." Sheen said in confusement. "I don't understand!"

Libby sighed and walked over to her boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around his waist and said, "It means that I'm yours! And I always have been!"

"Ohhh." Sheen replied. "Wait! You mean Edward's not real?"

"Yes!" Cindy and Libby said in unison.

Jimmy looked at the floor. "Um, Cin… I'm s-sorry. I thought that, well…"

Giggling she walked over to him and kissed his temple. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"Thanks." He said pulling her into his arms and kissing her on the mouth.

"Idea!" Libby said interrupting them. "How's about a trip to the Candy Bar?"

Everyone agreed to this, and the boys left to let the girls get ready.

Cindy shook her head as her boyfriend left.

"Wow." Libby said sighing and Cindy smiled.

"Yeah, wow."

They both looked at each other and than Cindy said, "But trust me, I wouldn't mind dating Edward!"

"Me either girl! But perhaps we should keep that to ourselves?"

"Perhaps."

Both girls turned and looked at the screensaver on Cindy's computer, which featured the object of both girls' affection, and sighed.

"Edward Cullen! Dammit! Why can't you be real?"


End file.
